... What can I do? .. or more like. What should I do?
At the moment I am in a one-sided love relationship. Well it's sorta one sided. He knows I love him. But he thinks I luv him like a brother. Which I don't. I passionatly love him. But ... I know it wont happen. I've been out with him already and ... god I loved it. I was SO happy. More happy then I have EVER been in my life. But he wasn't. After we dumped each other that is ... (dumped each other cos it was a long distance relationship) A few months after we broke up I got my friend t ask him on msn if he did actually love me when we were going out. He said he didn't. He said it wasn't love ... he said it was never love ... Jeez now I'm all teary eyed XD I think me went into a really bad state after that. I wouldn't talk to anybody. I wouldn't do anything really. He still doesn't know that I know he never loved me. If I told him I knew ... I dunno wat would happen ... And frankly I don't want to lose him. Ever.
... But still. It hurts. One-sided luv hurts a lot. So ... What should I do?
Forget about him and never speak to him again?
Tell him I know?
... or stay the way I am?
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
~ Short Story - May carry on if people like it ~
I gots bored, and I wrote a short-ish story. I thought I would share it with you all.
~~~
Short-ish story - Winged
''Damn, Raven. Your face is so pale.'' Exclaimed Lilli.
I sighed and rolled my eyes, running my thin hand through my black, silky hair. ''I know. I've not been feeling so good these past couple of days.'' I mumbled, my nails catching a few strands of hair as my hand rested back down on the table.
''Well I hope you get better soon.'' Said Lilli with a warm smile, her golden blonde curls bouncing when she left the room with a slight hop.
I watched Lilli leave and chuckled quietly to myself, before stretching out my arms on the desk, then folding them and laying them on the surface. I yawned quietly and rested my chin on my boney arms, my eyes slowly closing shut as I began to drift off into a much needed and well earned sleep.
***
Only ten minutes past before I found myself jumping out of my seat, launching for the window.
It had been a peircing scream that had woken me up from my sleep, my eyes searching around the schol grounds from the window. My breath got caught in my throat when I saw who the person was and why that person had screamed. It was Lilli, her face a sickly pale from shock, and her hazel brown eyes wide from the sight below her.
All I saw was that Lilli was dangling down the side of the building on the top floor, her fingers clutching helplessly on the frame of a window. People were screaming and crying, some were even laughing. Sick bastards, I thought, before making a bolt for the exit of the classroom and leaping down the stairs as fast as I could.
''LILLI!'' I shouted loudly, suprised that my voice wasn't shaking. My hands were.
''R-Raven!'' Cried Lilli, not daring to turn her head around to look at me, who was below her. Way below her.
''Damn.'' I hissed, closing my eyes in pure frustration. I opened my eyes and looked at how far Lilli had to drop, then bit my tounge and shook my head. She'd die instantly when she made contact with the ground, I thought. ''No other choice.'' I muttered. I brushed my long black hair out of my now even sweatier face. I looked around quickly. Students were still screaming and pointing at Lilli. Teachers were closing their eyes, too scared to look, while others were running inside to go and atempt to help Lilli. I ran my fingers through my hair again, my eyebrows creased when I shut my eyes for a few seconds.
But, when I opened my eyes this time, they were as black as the night sky. I had no white in my eyes. Just ... Black. I took in a deep breath, my stomach expanding, before I let the breath out again. At the same time, I had foused on one particular thing. Letting my wings out. Now, I thought.
***
A gust of wind blew around my body, black feathers caught up in the mini sized tornado that was around me.
But no sooner then when the torando appeared, had it dissapeared, leaving a magnificent sight to see. I now had black, long, elegant wings sprouting out of my shoulder blades, coming through the holes they had ripped in my school jumper.
''Oh ... My god.'' Gasped one of the students.
I ignored everything and bolted up, my wings carrying me up effortlessly into the air. I tucked in my raven-like wings slightly and dived upwards, catching Lilli just as she began to fall. I blanked everything out but myself, and my best friend Lilli. I didn't look at her, not wanting to see the expresion on her face. An expression I knew so well from previous incidents with other friends from different schools. I let my wings fully expand, then dropped slowly to the ground, putting Lilli on her feet. But when my feet touched the ground; my black wings engulfing my thin and pale body, students began to scream.
''Monster!'' One of them shouted, ''Freak!'' Shouted another.
I only gave a sigh, walking away from Lilli. I had no other buisness here anymore.
''W-... Wait.'' Stuttered Lilli, her voice shakey.
I closed my eyes, and stopped, my back to her.
''I ... Thankyou ... Raven.'' Muttered Lilli quietly, looking up at me as I turned around to face her.
''Lil-'' A sudden bright flash appeared before me and stunned me for a second. Huh? What? I thought, rubbing my eyes.
''Amazing. Just amazing.'' I heard a voice say. I looked up, taking my hands way from my eyes. It was a student, a year older then me. He was holding a photographers camera, a goofy looking smile on his face, his glasses resting crokedly on the bridge of his nose. He flashed me another goofy smile, then tok another picture of me, making me quickly cover my eyes.
''What are you doing, yo-'' I was cut off when a thin, but manly looking hand was shoved into my face. I looked at it oddly, and he gave a deep chuckle.
''Nice to meet you. M'names Erik.'' He said in a gruff sounding voice.
''Names ... Raven.'' I said, so confused that I had to question myself on my own name. I looked at his hand again, and took it, shaking it gently, before letting go.
''So, Raven ... What ... Are you?'' Asked Erik, his eye glistening with interest, looking at my midnight black wings.
for copy right ~
© Kristen - 11th september, 09 - 5:44
Plz comment
No nastyness tho plz xD
~~~
Short-ish story - Winged
''Damn, Raven. Your face is so pale.'' Exclaimed Lilli.
I sighed and rolled my eyes, running my thin hand through my black, silky hair. ''I know. I've not been feeling so good these past couple of days.'' I mumbled, my nails catching a few strands of hair as my hand rested back down on the table.
''Well I hope you get better soon.'' Said Lilli with a warm smile, her golden blonde curls bouncing when she left the room with a slight hop.
I watched Lilli leave and chuckled quietly to myself, before stretching out my arms on the desk, then folding them and laying them on the surface. I yawned quietly and rested my chin on my boney arms, my eyes slowly closing shut as I began to drift off into a much needed and well earned sleep.
***
Only ten minutes past before I found myself jumping out of my seat, launching for the window.
It had been a peircing scream that had woken me up from my sleep, my eyes searching around the schol grounds from the window. My breath got caught in my throat when I saw who the person was and why that person had screamed. It was Lilli, her face a sickly pale from shock, and her hazel brown eyes wide from the sight below her.
All I saw was that Lilli was dangling down the side of the building on the top floor, her fingers clutching helplessly on the frame of a window. People were screaming and crying, some were even laughing. Sick bastards, I thought, before making a bolt for the exit of the classroom and leaping down the stairs as fast as I could.
''LILLI!'' I shouted loudly, suprised that my voice wasn't shaking. My hands were.
''R-Raven!'' Cried Lilli, not daring to turn her head around to look at me, who was below her. Way below her.
''Damn.'' I hissed, closing my eyes in pure frustration. I opened my eyes and looked at how far Lilli had to drop, then bit my tounge and shook my head. She'd die instantly when she made contact with the ground, I thought. ''No other choice.'' I muttered. I brushed my long black hair out of my now even sweatier face. I looked around quickly. Students were still screaming and pointing at Lilli. Teachers were closing their eyes, too scared to look, while others were running inside to go and atempt to help Lilli. I ran my fingers through my hair again, my eyebrows creased when I shut my eyes for a few seconds.
But, when I opened my eyes this time, they were as black as the night sky. I had no white in my eyes. Just ... Black. I took in a deep breath, my stomach expanding, before I let the breath out again. At the same time, I had foused on one particular thing. Letting my wings out. Now, I thought.
***
A gust of wind blew around my body, black feathers caught up in the mini sized tornado that was around me.
But no sooner then when the torando appeared, had it dissapeared, leaving a magnificent sight to see. I now had black, long, elegant wings sprouting out of my shoulder blades, coming through the holes they had ripped in my school jumper.
''Oh ... My god.'' Gasped one of the students.
I ignored everything and bolted up, my wings carrying me up effortlessly into the air. I tucked in my raven-like wings slightly and dived upwards, catching Lilli just as she began to fall. I blanked everything out but myself, and my best friend Lilli. I didn't look at her, not wanting to see the expresion on her face. An expression I knew so well from previous incidents with other friends from different schools. I let my wings fully expand, then dropped slowly to the ground, putting Lilli on her feet. But when my feet touched the ground; my black wings engulfing my thin and pale body, students began to scream.
''Monster!'' One of them shouted, ''Freak!'' Shouted another.
I only gave a sigh, walking away from Lilli. I had no other buisness here anymore.
''W-... Wait.'' Stuttered Lilli, her voice shakey.
I closed my eyes, and stopped, my back to her.
''I ... Thankyou ... Raven.'' Muttered Lilli quietly, looking up at me as I turned around to face her.
''Lil-'' A sudden bright flash appeared before me and stunned me for a second. Huh? What? I thought, rubbing my eyes.
''Amazing. Just amazing.'' I heard a voice say. I looked up, taking my hands way from my eyes. It was a student, a year older then me. He was holding a photographers camera, a goofy looking smile on his face, his glasses resting crokedly on the bridge of his nose. He flashed me another goofy smile, then tok another picture of me, making me quickly cover my eyes.
''What are you doing, yo-'' I was cut off when a thin, but manly looking hand was shoved into my face. I looked at it oddly, and he gave a deep chuckle.
''Nice to meet you. M'names Erik.'' He said in a gruff sounding voice.
''Names ... Raven.'' I said, so confused that I had to question myself on my own name. I looked at his hand again, and took it, shaking it gently, before letting go.
''So, Raven ... What ... Are you?'' Asked Erik, his eye glistening with interest, looking at my midnight black wings.
for copy right ~
© Kristen - 11th september, 09 - 5:44
Plz comment
No nastyness tho plz xD
Hi guys!
I felt pretty random today and said to myself 'hey! why don'cha make a blog?'
So I did.
Obviously.
I'm not exactly sure what a blog is, but yeah XD
Sooooo should I rant about how boring my life is? How sucky everything is?
No?
Tuff, deal with it, or I'll bite you.
~~~
So have you ever felt like your lifes just ... Well falling apart? I have, and I am at the moment ='[ I'm trying to not whineor anything, because I know that this is just what most teenagers go through, right?
- List of what I've 'gone through' -
* I've lost the person I luv and care for even more then myself to another girl
* He knows I still luv him ... well ... he thinks I luv him like a Brother. Because he luvs me like a Sister, which makes me angry at him. Even though I know he has done nothing wrong by loving someone else. I should be happy for him finding the luv of his life, right? ... Well I'm not. Cos the luv of his life isn't me. And I wish it was.
* My two best friends thought I was bitching about them, so they got 5 girls to beat me up. (Luckly all my limbs are still attached. For the record, I bit them so hard they bled. Teeth rule.)
* My parents tell me to shut up EVERY time I say something
* The guy who I luv is seriusly ill and I can't do anything to help him.
* I keep on puking =[
* I haven't spoken to the guy I luv for a whole week now and I have the feeling we wont be talking any time soon. And if we don't, it will litterally rip me apart from the inside out.
* I need to stop whinning about everything like a child XD
Well yeah, thats my long-ish list. Just thought I'd let it all out.
Is that what a blog's ment to be like? >.> No? ... crud
~~~
Enough of the whinning me thinks ^^
How about I talk about happy stuff?
yes?
good.
* I'm on holiday right now and have made some GREAT friends. I luv them all to peices.
* One guy has a crush on me ... And he is pretty cute
* I've just gotten my fake vampire fangs in the mail!
* I have just bought some tru Blood drink! Limited edition baby! XD
Other good stuff's happened, but I can't be asked to write more
Oh and Yeah, I know I have issues, big issues. But hey, everybody goes through tough times, and people shouldn't be laughed at, or joked around with cos of it ^^ so no horrid comments or anything plz, but if u can't help urself then ... meh ...
*long silence*
Comment away?
I felt pretty random today and said to myself 'hey! why don'cha make a blog?'
So I did.
Obviously.
I'm not exactly sure what a blog is, but yeah XD
Sooooo should I rant about how boring my life is? How sucky everything is?
No?
Tuff, deal with it, or I'll bite you.
~~~
So have you ever felt like your lifes just ... Well falling apart? I have, and I am at the moment ='[ I'm trying to not whineor anything, because I know that this is just what most teenagers go through, right?
- List of what I've 'gone through' -
* I've lost the person I luv and care for even more then myself to another girl
* He knows I still luv him ... well ... he thinks I luv him like a Brother. Because he luvs me like a Sister, which makes me angry at him. Even though I know he has done nothing wrong by loving someone else. I should be happy for him finding the luv of his life, right? ... Well I'm not. Cos the luv of his life isn't me. And I wish it was.
* My two best friends thought I was bitching about them, so they got 5 girls to beat me up. (Luckly all my limbs are still attached. For the record, I bit them so hard they bled. Teeth rule.)
* My parents tell me to shut up EVERY time I say something
* The guy who I luv is seriusly ill and I can't do anything to help him.
* I keep on puking =[
* I haven't spoken to the guy I luv for a whole week now and I have the feeling we wont be talking any time soon. And if we don't, it will litterally rip me apart from the inside out.
* I need to stop whinning about everything like a child XD
Well yeah, thats my long-ish list. Just thought I'd let it all out.
Is that what a blog's ment to be like? >.> No? ... crud
~~~
Enough of the whinning me thinks ^^
How about I talk about happy stuff?
yes?
good.
* I'm on holiday right now and have made some GREAT friends. I luv them all to peices.
* One guy has a crush on me ... And he is pretty cute
* I've just gotten my fake vampire fangs in the mail!
* I have just bought some tru Blood drink! Limited edition baby! XD
Other good stuff's happened, but I can't be asked to write more
Oh and Yeah, I know I have issues, big issues. But hey, everybody goes through tough times, and people shouldn't be laughed at, or joked around with cos of it ^^ so no horrid comments or anything plz, but if u can't help urself then ... meh ...
*long silence*
Comment away?
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